Coffee
by imustbeaweasley
Summary: Longing. Memories drowned in inanimate objects. Missing her. INSPIRED BY COFFEE BY TORI KELLY.


**_A/N: Blame my fiancé, aka piperactive, for this one. I asked "Justicykes or Jam?" when I played him this song, and he goes, "Godot." Enjoy._**

October 13, 2018

6:18 AM PST

Promenade Towers Apartments

Los Angeles, CA

_"__I envy the cup of coffee that kisses you every morning"_

I press the off button from my phone alarm, after snoozing maybe six times. I sit up, rubbing my eyes. I despise waking up this early, but it's the price I have to pay for you. Getting off the bed, I drag my feet across the cold-ass floor, to the kitchen. I grab a mug from one of the white-stained cabinets, placing it under the head of the Keurig I purchased recently. I place one of the coffee pods inside, press one of the buttons, and watch as my liquid courage dispenses into the cup. The drink, as black as my soul, sends the familiar warmth through my body, as I picture you stealing sips from my cup and your lipstick staining the rim. Five years later, and I still remember the taste of coffee on your lips.

_"__That pillow caressing your cheek when you are tired and yawning"_

Once finishing my first cup for the day, as another dispenses into my cup, I make my way back into my room. I go through my closet, choosing a suit that I'm damn sure I haven't worn in court before. Suiting up, I appear out of my closet to see my unmade bed. The second pillow, on the left side of my bed, where you used to lie. Your silky, black hair draped across, covering your porcelain face, as I awoke early. Waking you up, the only way I knew how in the wee hours of the morning. No other woman has found themselves in my bed but you.

_"__I'm jealous of the steering wheel you wrap your hands around. That seat belt's on your chest hearing your heart, holding you down"_

I down my second cup, preparing the third one into a travel mug that hasn't been touched in years. I read the clock shining on the microwave: 6:51. I am not needed at the courthouse until 9:00, but with Los Angeles traffic and some paperwork needed at the Precinct, leaving now would benefit me more than anything. I grab the tumbler, and my untouched briefcase, and find my way to the now-7-year-old Lexus ES seated outside the apartment. I shouldn't be driving with my condition, but fuck it, I need to do it. I unlock the door, enter the driver's seat, and press the start button. I place my hands on the steering wheel, gripping where your hands used to hold. We shared this car, albeit your usage of the car for 3 extra years than I. Your hands were the last on this steering wheel, to touch the keyless start, to play around with the radio. I reach for the seatbelt, whose constraint last was placed over your own chest. I grip the gear shift, with thoughts of you filling my head as I shift into drive, leaving the apartment. Remembering, how you felt seating on top of me in the driver's seat on more that one occasion whilst in park.

_"__I envy the cup of coffee that kisses you every morning. Oh, I would jump over the edge for you, to get to you."_

Driving down 101 to 10 to 5 feels so familiar. The multiple times we've driven this way to the courthouse five years ago. I want nothing more than to pull us onto the side of the highway again, find my hands and mouth in places they shouldn't be, and make us late to work for the umbillionth time. Alas, my empty passenger seat pulls me back to reality that I'm not commuting to the Grossberg Law Offices anymore, but to the L.A. Prosecutor's Office. God damn, you would kill me if you knew of my new intentions. I take a sip of my coffee, still warm, as I continue my new commute.

_"__It's unfair 'cause I'm missing you way too much. I'm missing you, missing you way too much. And I'm wishing you were right here because, I'm missing you way, way too much."_

I arrive at the Prosecutor's office, finding myself being greeted by the Chief Prosecutor. He asks me why I look so familiar to him, and I lie. He, nor anybody else, need to know of my past here. As I walk to his office, I am noticed by many of the cohorts, who are typing away on their desktops. Notably, my eyes catch Miles, one of your rivaling opponents, typing aggressively. I keep my eyes down, passing him, hiding the anger I hold for him in. Whilst filling out the necessary paperwork needed for today's proceedings, my thoughts continue to find their way to you. Your smile, your body, the perfume you continued to use each and every day. I dread finding my way to court, not seeing you to my left, proceeding the defense. Instead, I'll be on the opposing side, fighting for you. Fighting…against the man that caused our separation. I finish my paperwork, and the clock on my new boss's clock reads 8:39 AM. I take a sip of coffee, shake the man's hand, and walk out of the office, brushing past my new colleagues.

_"__Am I crazy to wanna hold you like the clothes on your body?"_

I walk through the parking lot to the Lexus, cranking the air conditioning once turning the vehicle back on. Once doing so, I'm reminded of a certain day in court that led me to pull into this parking lot at 2 in the morning. Cranking the air, in the California summer heat to fog the windows, pulling you into my lap in the driver's seat, my hands roaming over your perfectly-sculpted chest, your hips, anywhere I could to show you how perfect you were on an imperfect day. The feeling…your rhythm against mine, your warm core wrapped around me, how it felt feeling you come around me… I take another sip of coffee, to attempt to calm myself down before I show in court. I can imagine your face upon hearing my embarrassment of walking into court with a hard-on, your laugh, and comfort over such. How I would kill to hear from you again.

_"__I would trade places with the air that rushes by you so softly"_

I arrive at the courthouse, after driving maybe 20 minutes there. I am half an hour early, preparing my notes and such. Not gonna lie, I still get nervous when appearing in court. I wish you were here, to remind me to breathe. I would **kill** to have you here right now. I would trade places with you easily had it meant you advance in your career, or continue to fight for the truth. You didn't deserve what happened to you, and I plan to avenge what did happen.

_"__And I know that it's so silly of me, to be jealous of all these stupid things. But I'm missing you, missing you way too much. I'm missing you way, way, way too much"_

As 9:30 approaches, a familiar face walks through the lobby door. I never imaged how grown-up she would look, but there she was. Your sister, an adult, walking through the lobby of the courthouse. Your sister, one whom I promise with my life to protect from harm, talking to **him**? Talking to the man whose fault it is you are no longer with us. My anger, reaching a level it shouldn't, is suppressed by my thoughts of you, and what you would want, which would be to focus on the case and leave my personal baggage at the door. As we are called into the courtroom, I take a deep breath, as I prosecute my first case. For you.

I love you, and I wish you were here, Mia.

_"__And it's not fair."_


End file.
